Do you ever find yourself getting caught up in some minor annoyance? An annoyance that begins to grow and grow until it takes over your mind and your thoughts, making you cranky and miserable?I do.
Sometimes, I think I've matured enough not to let petty things control me, but then ... tah dah ... life tosses a monkey wrench my way, and I grab it. So much for my great maturity.
Here's the petty thing that's been making me grouchy and irritable for the past 2 days:
Back in October (yes, October!), I purchased a celebrity autograph for my daughter on eBay.
$15 for the autograph, $5 for shipping. I sent the $20 through PayPal the same day I won it. (I'm a responsible eBayer. *grin*)
After a long wait, the autograph finally arrived. Except it wasn't the autograph I won. It was an entirely different celebrity autograph.
I sent the seller a polite email explaining the mix-up. She asked me to return it (at my expense, no less...I should have charged her $5 to ship it back!).
But, hey, I try to be accomodating.
I sent it back. And waited. And waited. And waited.
Since that time, I've emailed the seller countless times. I've asked for the autograph I won. I've asked for a different autograph of the same celebrity (she has many in her store). I've asked for a refund.
She refused to respond. Nothing. Nada. For months. She apparently just sends all my emails straight to her trash folder.
I filed a dispute with eBay and with PayPal, but since the purchase was less than $25, I'm basically out of luck.
Finally, after months of unanswered emails and repeated attempts to get my money back, I left a negative feedback on the woman's profile. Hey, she earned it. I was way more patient than most people would have been. She has basically stolen my money.
Imagine my chagrin when I saw two days ago that she'd posted negative feedback to my profile.
She posted, "I offered many times to resolve this issue".
What?????
She took my $20, she never sent my merchandise, she never answered a single one of my emails for months. Then she had the nerve to post negative feedback on me?
I was livid.
Basically, I've been had. Ripped off. That much is obvious. There's no way I'll ever see any kind of a refund from her.
But today, as I was stewing over it, I began to think, "Wow...is it really worth $20 to let this thing get me so upset? Wouldn't I have paid $20 to have been able to be in a good mood these last few days instead of letting this silly autograph thing eat me up?"
Basically, it's ridiculous and self destructive to let $20 and a stupid (and probably forged) autograph determine my mood and thoughts. Why do I let myself get so caught up in things like that? But I do.
Just the other day, an old man on the street asked me for $10 to buy burritos for him and his wife (she was waiting a short distance away). I gave it to him without a second thought. If he had needed $20, no doubt I'd have given that to him, too. And I'd be no worse the wear for it. Yes, he may have used to to buy booze or cigarettes, but that will be his to account for...I couldn't look into the face of an old man and just send him away.
And I'm sure that even if my fraudulent eBay seller had approached me on the street with a need for $20, I'd have willingly given it to her.
So why does this particular $20 bug me so much? I guess because I didn't give it away willingly. It was stolen from me. It's just the principle of the thing.
But that wonderful "principle" of mine is making me grouchy and not much fun to be around. :-)
I need to let it go. Just let it go. Whatever the outcome.
My anger and frustration isn't getting me my money back. It isn't teaching that woman a lesson. Instead, it's turning me into an old grump. *smile*
And as long as I hold all this anger and resentment so tightly in my hand, I'm unable to open my hand to receive good things.
The world is full of joy, peace, and an abundance of good things. They are everywhere. But if my hand is wrapped so tightly around my misery, all those good things just drift on by. I can't grab hold of them because I'm refusing to loosen my grasp on my "righteous" anger.
How stupid is that?
I just have to let silly things go. They're just things. No one's life is at stake. In the grand scheme of things, does $20 even matter?
No.
I just need to let it go and wish her well. Perhaps she will buy some burritos with that $20. Good for her. :-)
Only in letting go of bad things will all the good things of life be able to fall into my open and receptive palm.
Let go.
(I feel better now. *smile*)
